i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
