i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize