very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
