69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just blew my weed a kiss
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
