he puts the penis in happiness.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
