I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
