nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize