So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize