Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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