So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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