hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
