Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
