Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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