Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im holly from the hills drunk
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
