I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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