Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
