I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
