I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
