I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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