I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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