my vag is so smooth its legendary
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
