I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
