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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

  (925): View more from California

  Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

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• (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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• (914): View more from New York

  First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Text me some of your sweat

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