i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my being single is dangerous.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
