Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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