It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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