Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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