Moan for me like Helen Keller
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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