Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
