Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
