Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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