covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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