sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
