So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
