Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i out mim tonsoeep
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