My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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