I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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