New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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