First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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