why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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