He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
