I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize