I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
