This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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