I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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