I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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