Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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