Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
