Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
