God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
