so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
