Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
