We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
