She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
