My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Let's get the cat blown out
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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