i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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