Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
