somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
