You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize