I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
