shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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